Be near the change you want to see happen in the world

Posted by richard

A lot of people ask me “Richard, how would penis reduction pills change my life?“, to which I’m a bit confused it seems totally clear – our un-patented penis reducing pills shouldn’t really change your life in any way.  They’re placebos. Take as many as you want and it shouldn’t affect the size of your willy in any way whatsoever, except that if you were to take a LOT of them then you’d get fat, and in comparison it might look a little smaller.  But, it wouldn’t actually be, and we don’t recommend that anyway because our nation has enough problems with obesity already.

Instead, you should ask yourself how penis reducing pills would change those around you. Folks who, seeing the large box arrive via the US Post office from a smiling mailman, might suddenly say “Hey — that Richard is quite a chap, and must possess a johnson of enormous proportions. Perhaps we should invite him to our parties, in the hope than some of his charm and charisma rubs off on us.” Or, your boss, seeing the bottle displayed on the corner of the desk, might think “Richard has been a model employee, and deserves a huge raise and even larger bonus, given that he apparently has quite a large truncheon in his pants.”  Or, women, seeing a bumper-sticker on your car might think “That Richard – he’s a keeper, or at least a try-er-out for the weekend, now that he’s trying to take care of that incredibly large willy that he must have, because they wouldn’t prescribe those pills for no reason.“

Internet Search Engine Optimization scams

Posted by admin

I get a lot of email from various internet specialists who offer me services to do things like “increase your page rank in Google”, or “pick the right keywords so people can find you better”, and, frankly, I’m mystified since right now I think we’re ranked great in Google.

If you, for example, do a search for “penis reduction pill” then we’re almost always the first link. And, the second link and third link as well. In fact, most of the links on the front page are to this site, so frankly I think these SEO specialists would have their work cut out for us.

Thank god we’re not in the penis enlargement pill business (and, for heavens sake, WHY?) because for some reason lots of folks seem to be selling them. Lord knows a day doesn’t go by that I don’t see to get some kind of email asking me to buy something to make my penis bigger, or longer, or harder, or whatever, and I just have to laugh to myself and say “Oh, I’m of the opinion that mine is quite large enough, thank you, so much so that I’m taking a penis reducing placebo every morning and want everyone to know that.”

We are *not* under investigation

Posted by richard

I’d just like to assure all of our customers that we here at Penis Reduction Pills.com, a subsidiary of Placebo Labs.com, are NOT under investigation by the United States Federal Drugs Administration, nor by the European Union Commissioner of Health, nor by (as far as we know) any other government agency. We pride ourselves on selling only the finest placebos, and anything you’ve heard to the contrary is just sour grapes from our competition.

Our products helping win the war!

Posted by admin

A photo of one of our bumper stickers on a troop transport in Iraq.

Our products aren’t just helping here in the states (and, Canada.) For example, here’s a photos of one of our customers, who finds that the pills are helping our troops in Iraq. Just the knowledge that our fine fighting men may need pills to make their penises smaller lets the people know that our fine fighting men may have larger than usual penises.

If you’re a member of the active military, mention that in the comments field on the checkout and we’ll double the size of your pills order automatically for you. And we’ll toss in a couple bumper stickers for you too.

We’ve been acquired!

Posted by admin

I guess I’m pleased to say that the assets and intellectual property of Penis Reduction Pills has been acquired by Placebo Labs, a California company which has been advancing the use and misuse of placebos in the marketplace today.  I’ll be a vice president, overseeing something or the other — I’m sure they’ll find good stuff for me to do.

I’m a bit melancholy about this – certainly, it’s been a tough road so far bringing granddad’s company back to life, with a lot of ups and downs, and sales haven’t been as good as I would have hoped for, but Placebo Labs will be able to bring a lot of new capital and brainpower and I’m sure that together we’ll succeed beyond my wildest dreams.

We’re number three on Google!

Posted by richard

Wow. If you go to Google and search for “I’ve got a penis”, this site is the third result. Above us are only a Craigslist post about a guy with a small penis and a link to a site that doesn’t load.

If you’re wondering, I noticed it looking thru the logs of the search terms that had been used to find this site.

最高級の男性の自我を強化する。

Posted by richard

We’re proud to offer the finest penis-reducing placebos on the market today, specially designed to address the real needs of men today — “To strengthen the ego of the finest men.”

Because, what man among us doesn’t, occasionally, need a bit of a boost to his ego. A little something that lets him know that he’s good enough, smart enough, strong enough, and large enough to tackle any problem or issue that may confront him.